Stupid Crazy Hips

It gets to a point, during such a long and arduous surgical process, where one wants to throw in the towel, call it quits, be done and over with the entire ordeal. I won't lie, I feel like that often. I'll out on a happy face and go about my normal activities, but deep down, it truly is frustrating.  I have had so many surgeries on my left hip, the last being the most brutal, and it still hurts. Which is disheartening. The left hip may actually still hurt more than my non-PAO'd hip.  It's scary. I am hoping when I get the screws out in September, that it will alleviate some of this pain.  The fact that it hurts to weight bear is worrisome bc I know it will need a THR, just when?

As for my right hip, it's been alright. The deep ache is constant, but I've been lucky as it hasn't slipped out in six weeks or so. Now that I've jinxed myself....

Medication-wise, things are still so-so.  My new PCP was more than supportive to help manage my pain.  During my original appointment, he was pushing for Butrans patches and I was hesitant.  I chose the Tramadol ER. Which kind of does work, but I wouldn't disagree that I need more pain relief to properly function at work. In hindsight, I wish I had taken him up on the Butrans patch offer, but hindsight is 20/20. I suppose I should call to see if he would write a script for me prior to my next appointment with him on August 22nd. I will have to gather up enough courage to call. I have no problems calling for other people, or dishing out advice to people, but when it comes to me and my own health and doctors, I hate it.

But on a happier note, the proper Neurontin dosage has done wonders! I can touch my inner thigh skin and not cringe. I don't get those sharp electrocuting pains down my leg anymore. Thank goodness. Hopefully I won't be needing 300mg TID for too too long, but I'm expecting to need it up to and through a while of my right PAO recovery.

Speaking of which, the RPAO is coming up. In 54 days I'll be getting ready to go to the OR for my (hopefully) last big operation for a while.  I know it needs to be done, it's such a daunting task. And the fact that I have only 3 weeks scheduled off is worrisome. I know that is almost next to impossible, but the fact I will be returning back to work shortly after the surgery has me stressed.

5 Weeks Post Op

I should have been better about updating as my days came and what milestones I reached on what particular days so as to have a decent account of my recovery so I can compare it to the opposite side.  Sucks I didn't think to do that after this PAO.  I will promise to be better after the next one!

Yesterday was my 5 week post op date.  I am totally self sufficient now.  I can drive easily given that it is my left leg that was operated on. I can shower standing up and sitting down (the shaving of legs still needs to occur sitting and I just feel more comfortable with the chair in there still).  I can, shhhh, stand on two feet without any real pain and yes it feels weird.  One day I just looked down and holy crap, I was standing on two feet equally.  I know I am not supposed to do this until I see my surgeon again in two weeks, but it just happened.  Now I brush my teeth on two feet...I can't see how it can hurt too much because it is not as if I am walking around on it (although I feel like I can walk on my hip!)--which I would NEVER do at this point.

As far as pain levels goes, it is up and down.  For instance, yesterday, I had to take Tylenol and tramadol on board all day but then today I just took a half a tramadol and Tylenol the rest of the day.  I still take my muscle relaxant at night, but I was taking that pre-op too and am content to keep that on board until I get my other side screwed.  Quite honestly, I am taking these pain meds mostly for my non-operated hip.  My left hip is feeling really good, its the muscles and nerves that hurt on that side, but my right hip aches that deep sickening ache all of the time.  Suffice it to say, the right hip is less than happy to be supporting me fully these days. 

I am not sleeping well at all.  If I sleep in a bed, then I wake up every time I move.  Just this past week I have been able to roll over onto my stomach.  This is a welcomed position change from my back, but I can't stay like that too long.  I am still unable to roll and stay on my non-op side as my adductors spasm if I do that.  Those adductors have really taken a hit with the new bone positioning--right from day one they were sore.  Most night, sleeping in the bed keeps me awake bc I move, so I usually sleep in the recliner, which prevents me from moving too much so I can sleep longer than the usual four hours.  But I can't stay there every night as my back hurts there too much.  Complicated.  So, I rotate between bed and recliner. 

I am doing all of my exercises, including riding the bike. This week I have seen a great improvement in my atrophy as it is visibly less!  I am biking between 25-35 minutes total every day.  I hope that it helps me so I can get off crutches quicker.  My ROM is okay: flexion is about 100 degrees until I get the groin pinch, and I can do the figure four without too much discomfort, external rotation is good--I can get it to be equal to my right side now without any stretch, it is the sharp joint pain that is limiting me from full external rotation.  I am happy with my ROM, but I do believe that I should be able to do more.  I am unsure if it's my arthritis that is limiting my motion or if it is just the inflammation from the surgery, either way, I hope that I am doing as well as can be expected.  I will know more when I see my surgeon for my follow up in two weeks.

My incision is looking nice, all healed up, but the subcutaneous sutures are still extremely palpable with all 10 knots still able to be easily felt.  Two of them feel like they have some inflammation inside. I will keep an eye on it because I feel like they all should be dissolving a bit faster than they are.  My screws, all four of them, can be felt easily on days that the incision is not too swollen.  Lately, I haven't been able to feel them too easily, but I do feel them pinch when I flex up.  As my surgeon told me, I will be "begging to get my screws out!"  Maybe I need to fluff up a bit?  I sure am trying by drinking two high calorie Boost drinks daily...not necessarily to beef up, but to maintain my current weight, which is VERY difficult for me right now. Healing from major surgery uses us so many calories!!!

All in all, I am doing pretty darn well. 

Calmed Down A Bit

Yeah, I've calmed down some since writing my last post.  I truly believe that I need to get my act together and become more positive.  Everybody keeps telling me how positive I am during the last phase of my life, though deep down (and apparently on my blog) I am a Debbie Downer.  I need to get my act together and become more positive and focus on the great things in life.  I am truly blessed in life.  I have my health (except for my orthopaedic issues), I have an amazing family, I am doing what I want in life and will have an amazing career of my dreams when I am done with school.  These are things that I must be thankful for and not forget that I have them. It is too easy to focus on the chronic pain, the things I can't do, the things decisions I have to make all because of my hips.  They truly do impact life and make me who I am, but they should not take over and make me miserable.  Although I have to acknowledge that I have this pain and may have to do something about it in the future, I have to realize I have an amazing support system.  All family and virtual friends have been amazing through this journey.  I will most certainly keep the friendships I have made through this journey for the rest of my life.  I am blessed (even blessed with bad hips!).

I am contemplating going to see a pain management doctor or a sports medicine doctor who may be able to prescribe me some medications that would help me get through my day.  I would be grateful for a way to get through my day (or the majority of it) without hurting.  I am usually throbbing my noon whilst on Voltaren.  We will see what I decide.  I am doing a physiatry rotation beginning next week and may ask the doctor for a recommendation for a doctor that may be able to help me.