Wish to be Screwed

Oh it takes days like today to wish wish wish that I was screwed screwed screwed.  I wish I had surgery scheduled for Monday!  Living like this sometimes seems like a nightmare that doesn't end.  Every day I wake up and hope that the darn hip stays relatively quiet and reasonable pain levels.  Today was not a good day.  I did, stupidly, help out in the garden.  Although I had a chair to sit in, I still managed to stand way too much (which isn't very much longer than two minutes at a time), and paid for it the rest of the day.  This is a humongous sign that I am going to be doing the right thing by committing to more surgery.  This is no way to live whilst being younger than 30.

I attempted to schedule my surgery this past week, but their books don't go out far enough.  When I called she took my information down and asked if September 13th looked good for me since that was the next available surgery slot.  I kinda laughed because I wish I could get fixed then, but I have to wait to finish school which puts me February 28th if I save up all of my vacation.  So I have to call back mid-October/November to schedule out in February.  I get to choose either a Tuesday or a Friday for surgery day.  I will choose a Friday so that two of the days in the hospital both my parents will be able to be there without having to take vacation.

It will be posts like this that I will have to re-read before my surgery to remind myself why I am in fact voluntarily signing up for such a large procedure.  It takes repeated days like today to convince anybody that surgery is necessary.  Although I am scared to death when I think of the thought of somebody doing a periacetabular osteotomy on my pelvis, I do think that it will be worth having a stable hip.  What makes this all worth it is the chance of having reduced pain and getting my life back.  That is what I truly hope and pray for each and every day.  Even though I will have to work very hard to get through these next six months and then even harder during a notoriously tough recovery, I look forward to the challenge as it provides a chance for me to return to a normal young adult doing normal things.  I'll be able to go out with friends after work!  I'll be able to do things on the weekend!  I'll be able to go out dancing!  I'll be able to shop in a mall! This actually makes me excited.  After more than 7 years of hip crap, this could in fact be the key to successfully functioning hips.

Peace out.