Afraid

So, I have found a orthopaedic surgeon here in town that does hip scopes and I have made an appointment to see him next week. I don't plan on getting anything done by him (because I think my original surgeon is great and he lives near me). But I have a pit in my stomach because I have this overwhelming feeling like something just isn't right. As this semester has progressed I am getting more and more groin pain. My ROM sucks and I am having to take more Ibuprofen during the day and sometimes muscle relaxants at night so I can sleep.

I am petrified that they are going to say that I have something wrong that needs surgery. I understand that something is wrong since I am 10 months post op and am declining again. I can about cry when I think about it. It is just so frustrating. I haven't the foggiest idea how I am going to do my medical school rotations without pain. Well, I won't not be in pain. I suppose I will have to suck it up. Unless something drastically changes in my healing process, I am very worried. If I do need surgery, I don't have time to fit it in. I suppose I could take my 2 months of vacation in one foul swoop (if need be)....but that would be using all of my vacation time for the next two years for surgery. Thinking about this is like jumping the gun. I really don't know if I need surgery or not yet. For all I know it could just be inflamed. Right? I am just so scared to get another operation on my hips!

I know that many people have had more than what I am dealing with, but it is still petrifying to know that something is wrong. I hate this!