Yup. I do. No question 'bout it. I hurt. Period. Boo. Hiss. Uncool. Bummer. Thumbs down. Sux. Yuck. Ick. Blah. Barf. Etc.
You know, when I made the decision...erm...correction, when my surgeon essentially forced me to stop medical school (which WAS the right decision)...I thought that when my 8 months off and my surgeries were done, that I would be hopping along ready to jump back into life again. Well...this isn't exactly how it has panned out. Don't get me wrong, I am better than I was when I stopped medical school, but I still darn tooting hurt. My right hip is amazing! I am in love with it. Seriously, it feels like an elbow: no pain, full ROM, no clicking, pure joy.
My left hip is still icky. After getting fed up these last couple of weeks I called the PA and asked what we should be doing differently. I got some Voltaren because, in his opinion, my hip flexor is ticked off and causing pain. The ROM reduction he described as the lactic acid build up thus reducing my flexion to decrease. We are working the posterior chain, more pool, and NSAIDs and seeing how it goes. Honestly, the Voltaren does help, but not for the full day. I am still aware of the pain in my hip 24/7, but the Voltaren takes off some of the edge of the throbbing.
Frankly, something I would rather not have to still be dealing with after being off so long. I realize I have had so many surgeries on this left side and still has room for improvement, but life is starting back up again and I still hurt. I can't believe that I am still throbbing all of the time. I also can't complain to my family anymore. They keep telling me that I need to build up my strength, do more work, be on my feet more, get better. I feel like they keep telling me this because I am going back to school that I should be better. I should stop thinking or worrying about my hips. At this point, I AM worried about how I will hold up on my feet all day. I NEED some normalcy in life again and returning back to rotations will help mentally, physically, we will just have to wait and see. It's just tough because everybody around me expects me to be better now. I am still dealing with a lot of pain and simply don't vocalize it anymore. Just because I start back to school doesn't mean I miraculously heal. *sigh*
PS: my next posting will be much more positive. I just needed to vent to my cyber-space....I'm actually not sure if very many people actually read the crap I put down.
Sorry to hear of the continued troubles -- how did the PA arrive at the lactic acid diagnosis, versus adhesions? How was lactic acid causing flexion loss...physical swelling?
ReplyDeleteHope the diclofenac continues to help!
Umm, yeah, frankly I don't know how he can arrive at this diagnosis. What he said makes sense: hip flexor so irritated and inflamed it is always turned on, which causes lactic acid build up in the immediate area thus pain in groin and reduced ROM. Problem is, it feels like pre-op groin pain. I have only talked over the phone with the PA. His guess would be as good as yours and mine. At this point I HAVE to hope he is right because the thought of more adhesions is completely nauseating.
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