Yes Sir--Countdown is in the 30s.

I keep a countdown on my phone to keep me on track as to how many days left of school, which has now also become my countdown for surgery since both lie on the same day.  But I have officially got down to the 30s....39 days to be exact, with only 29 of those days being at school on rotation.  The END is finally nearing!  After 25 years of formal education, I have 29 days left.  It is actually surreal.  I am super, uper, duper pumped to finally be coming up on my end of being a "student."  I keep it in quotes since becoming a physician actually requires lifelong learning and I never really get out of being a student, but at least I'll be getting paid starting in July.  This is exciting. 

So I didn't pick my surgery date very intelligently.  I should have chosen a week later since it would have given me a chance to do something fun for a week.  Perhaps go on a vacation somewhere for a couple of days, relax, hang out with family, have a small celebration to conclude my formal education.  All would have been very much enjoyed.  Instead, I chose to hop up on the operating table ASAP...which means I get to conclude my medical school rotations getting bones broken, hip socket formed, and a stay in the hospital.  As if I didn't get enough hospitals during medical school...I get to spend 3-5 consecutive days after school is done...what a way to finish off with a bang, eh?

All in all though, I am very thankful things have fallen into place and that I am able to have my surgery done at the most convenient time possible.  I realize that having surgery is never convenient, but this is the best possible scenario.  The thought of trying to do the other side during residency may be another beast in its entirety....but let's focus on the task at hand: finish med school, get left hip fixed.  I can do this!

Now I just need to stay positive for the remainder of school until the surgery.  I'm trying so very hard and it goes in cycles of "I can do this" to "Holy crap...why?"  I believe this is normal but it doesn't make it any easier having to control the roller coaster of emotions and doubts whilst keeping up with life.  Soon enough though, I will be able to leave school behind and focus on healing myself up.  I am, in fact, excited to turn this next page and begin the recovery process (and yes, I know it will SUCK post op....I ain't naïve...although sometimes I wish I were as there may be less pre-op anxiety). 

There are a couple things I promise myself as I approach surgery: 
Stay Positive
          Eat Healthy
               Be Patient
                         Obey my surgeon
                                          Don't be a hero
                                                       BE THANKFUL
                                                                    Embrace the experience
                                                          

Putting these up here now so that somebody can rifle these at me in about 8 weeks time.

A Post For Newbies

I was reading cancer blogs recently as my friend has had a recurrence of her Hodgkin's Lymphoma and was interested to read about other's struggles with cancer, and realized that many of the blogs were very informative and gave advice rather than always wallowing in their despair of having to deal with cancer.  Now, I am not comparing hip dysplasia with cancer, but I thought that the idea of trying to give a bit more information versus simply keeping this blog self-centered and yes, sometimes a place to throw a pity party, would be a better way of approaching things.

So here this post goes: providing information for newbies to the hip dysplasia/FAI world.  I know if can be overwhelming.  I remember the first time finding out I had a labral tear:  I was sitting on my bed 7.5 years ago taking a study break when I decided that I would pop my CD of my images from the arthrogram/MRI and, after fiddling through stuff that I didn't understand, I found the written report.  My heart immediately starting pounding and I felt light headed:  anterolateral filling defect consistent with labral tear and associated CAM boney prominence.  Meaning labral tear and impingement.  I didn't tell a single soul and kept this information to myself until I went to the orthopaedic surgeon as I didn't want anybody to freak out, nor did I really know what I was reading.  In any event, my point of telling this story is that I would have loved to stumbled across a blog post from somebody who had been through a similar situation very early on in my hip journey, because maaaaybe some of the mistakes I have gone through could have been prevented.

• Always get a second opinion.  I know this is hard with socialized healthcare, but seriously, wait to get re-referred to another surgeon because having two or three opinions is enough to make a sound decision.  I went ahead with surgery after one surgeon told me I needed a hip scope.  In hindsight, I should have waited the additional months to see yet another surgeon, because turns out my hip should have never been scoped in the first place.  In places like the US, second, third, and fourth opinions are easier to come by compared to that in Canada, UK, etc.  But still, pleeeeease, get a concurring opinion.  It will be worth it to ensure you get the proper diagnosis and proper treatment.
• Don't let any physician tell you that your pain is in your head, or that you should be all healed by now so you won't need to come back.  I've had two separate doctors tell me this, and I know I'm not cray cray, my hip does in fact hurt me.  I ended up forcing the first doc to tell me this to please refer me to another doctor because this is obviously not working out and the second doctor I kinda dropped like a hot potato and never returned.  Case in point, don't let doctors tell you you are crazy and that you don't hurt.  You are a patient and know your own body the best.
• Weigh risk vs. benefit..  If you are deciding whether or not to have surgery you must be willing to risk getting worse or staying the same in order to gain what function/ROM/pain you have lost.  I initially had my first two surgeries because I was having a hard time fully working out and participating in all my activities to my potential.  Well, 6 surgeries later, I can no longer stand well, nor can I work out at all.  Just seriously weigh the risk versus benefit.  And I'm not trying to scare you out of surgery, just make sure it's really the right thing to do.
• Research. You need to be an informed patient.  Plain and simple.  You can't believe everything your surgeon tells you.  You need to be able to question his/her thought process to make the best decisions for you and your hips.
• Make contacts with fellow hipsters. I could not have asked for a better cyber-support network of gals that totally get it.  There is always someone out there who has done what you are going through, pick their brain, ask questions, make friendships.  The contacts I have made through the Internet have formed into relationships that are closer than some of my physically present friends simply because they 'get it'.  Its a great bond and makes you feel less alone in trying times.
• Listen to your body.  And don't let things get too bad before seeking an opinion.  I did this with my left hip and it has snowballed into a mess of sorts.  You should not hurt doing physical activity, sitting, standing, walking, jumping, etc.  Don't be afraid to go to the doc, maybe there is something out there to help! And this point can be related to recovery too:  don't overdo things when recovering (MUCH easier said than done).  Slow and steady wins this race!!
• Find a place to vent.  I have three main outlets: my mum, my hip-friends, and my blog.  Each of these serves as an area in which I can freely discuss my feelings, fears, difficulties, and successes.  It's so important to not keep it all bottled up inside!
• Do your exercises.  Keeping a strong core with strong glutes is important with hip pain.  I will admit was better at this in the past, being with school is so busy and all, but there is no excuse: some bridging and planking will do wonders for the body and hips.
• Keep your weight in check.  This is MUCH MUCH easier said than done.  It's a vicious cycle for many people who can't fully exercise properly (as with those who have hip pain), but portion control is important: the kitchen is where the money is at for us hip folk!  I like Myfitnesspal to record my daily intake of food when I am feeling on the fluffier end.  I know that every pound of body weight = 3-9 pounds on a hip.  That's a frigging lot of weight on the hips.  It's hard.  I know.  And I'm not trying to offend anybody who is overweight, but simply making a point that it is something to think about.

Obviously I could continue to go on and on, but it wouldn't be helpful to read a novel in one posting.  Maybe I'll add to this list in a future post.  Until then, peace!!!!

54 days until surgery.

Long Hours

I know I'm in medical school and it is expected to work hard and long hours, but working roughly 69 hours this week on one bad hip and one iffy hip made my week miserable.  I feel like I am expected to function like this:

 

 

 

But what I really feel like is this:

 



It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!!!!!!!!

I'm really getting excited for the holidays now that December 1st hit.  I don't know what has me very excited this year, but I am truly excited!!  I suppose it's because last year I was taking boards and had a lot of stress with having to put my cat down, health insurance issues, getting dumped by my orthopaedic surgeon at the time, anxiety issues.  And the year before that I was sick and trying to work through Christmas so that I could have my surgery January 5th out in Vail.  This year, despite me working most of the time, I am more relaxed and less stressed.  Don't get me wrong, I am very busy with finishing up school and interviewing for residency. But I don't have an impending issue this holiday season.  And for that I am thankful.  (I suppose my impending issues will begin in the New Year when I prepare for my surgery and for ranking/matching for residency).  Until then...I'll cherish my holiday cheer. 

 

Today my family and I decorated our Christmas tree.  It was so much fun.  We watched Home Alone on VHS and managed to completely fill our tree.  Each year we get a new ornament from my Mum so that when we "grow up" (no, I have not grown up yet since I am still living at home, going to school, and needing my mumma myself!).  This year we each got an ornament that has an angel with a crystal ball on the bottom.  A fraction of the proceeds went to Make a Wish Foundation.  I thought it was a really cool ornament that is thoughtful. I have more than ten years of decorations from my Mum.  One day when I get my own tree (maybe next year!!!), I'll be good to go!

 

So, it's less than three months until I am done school and ready to roll onward and upward in life.  I am very thankful that I am able to get my surgery done, even if it does suck trying to get there with current pain levels. 

 

I was texting with a friend today and was saying how incredibly consuming hips and pain can be.  It is a bit discouraging that they dictate everything I do in life.  I think about them far too often to be healthy.  Really?  What would be consuming my brain if I didn't have to worry about my hips?  I must have been a less-boring individual prior to my hips acting up!  Whatevs...a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do, eh?

 

3 Months Pre-Op

Happy American Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today is the 28th, which means that I am exactly 3 months until my LPAO on February 28th.  Woot woot and eek eek.

Today I bought a new shower chair, one that has two of it's legs that are on the outside of the tub and two that are inside of the tub.  We have an existing chair but it's just a chair that is inside and sitting down with legs on the outside of the tub ledge will be dangerous post op.  I managed (with a lot of help) after my scopes, but being super careful to not fall is essential after a PAO.  I ain't risking nothing.  I also got two grab bars to put up in our bathroom as well.  The shower is a dangerous place to begin with and I am terrified of falling after my PAO.  I think the above will be worthwhile investments since I will most likely end up needing more than just this one PAO (fingers crossed the right settles a bit after I get the left all fixed up).

I'll put up pics of the shower chair and railings once they are made/installed.

Pre-Op Package

I received a lovely pre-operative package in the mail this past week.  Only 4+ months early, but hey, I couldn't be left alone to forget that I'll be having major surgery in just shy of four months.  No!  They need to remind me.  Ah well.  I've got pre-op appointment two weeks prior and then my post-op appointment two weeks after.  I am glad it is organized.  The entirety of the package was not extremely helpful as I know the drill before surgery. 

I will not be getting the GameReady or the CPM this time around.  The package says that my recovery will not be hindered and good golly the rental is expensive and inconvenient since I live in another country.  So, I will be forgoing these DME and I hope that I do not regret it. 

As far as how I am feeling, it is the same old same old for the left hip.  The right one is acting up lately, about as much as the left. This is so uncool since I was hoping to not need more surgery on this right side of mine.  Maybe once I get the pressure off of it by getting the left hip fixed?  It could be a possibility, but I have a sneaking suspicion that my surgeon will want to PAO the right side as well.

I also had the lovely experience of weighing myself for the first time in months and months today.  That also is uncool.  I have gained 9 pounds since May!  I attribute this to lack of activity outside of work and my eating habits not changing.  I literally lie around with ice packs after coming home from the hospital/clinic for the day and don't move all weekend off the couch in hopes of regaining some energy and rest for the hips so I can tackle the week.  This leaves me munching lots and not burning many calories.  I am starting Myfitnesspal with a friend and we are going to try to get some weight off.  I do it in hopes of relieving a wee bit of stress of the hips before surgery.  My goal: lose one pound a week.  It says that I need to eat 1400 calories a day.  I am unsure if this is accurate, but it seems like very little calories to me.  And BOY do I love to eat!  This will be a challenge but maybe I will feel better about how I feel and maybe a little less hip pain?  Every pound off will help reduce some stress off the joints.  Since I have never been this fluffy and my pain is at its worst, I think it's time to put my big girl pants on and eat clean and lose some weight.  Goal: 12 pounds.

Lets DO this!!!!

Same Old

So nothing tremendously exciting has been happening on the hip front lately.  I have had a fairly decent previous three weeks of relatively tolerable pain levels.  Which is extremely welcomed.  In fact, any reduction in pain is extremely welcomed!  The weekend has been tougher with increasing nerve pain (LFCN has decided to freak out bilaterally these past few days), but I am managing the best I can.  I was able to rest a lot today--essentially I laid on the couch like a sloth for the entire afternoon and evening and I loved every second of it!

I only have 130 days left of school and the same number of days until I am able to get my next surgery.  I really have absolutely no idea how I am managing to get through with school feeling the way I do. But then when I think about it, I know, it's only through the strength that God gives me to get up out of bed every morning, get dressed, and go to the hospital/clinic and learn as much as I can by working with attendings, residents, nurses, technicians, and patients.  I want more than anything to become the best physician I can possible become and throwing myself into my school is how I am going to do this.  I will most certainly not allow my hips to stop me from continuing through medical school.  No way.  No how.  I AM finishing this last stretch and will do it regardless of how much I hurt.  I have become extremely good at suppressing my pain and feelings.  It is natural for one with constant pain to become depressed, down, and sad.  And I do experience all of these from time to time.  And despite my constant tiredness, I feel like I am handling this pretty darn good.  The Lord is testing me to see how strong I can be, and man, I never thought that doing medical school in this shape would have been possible. If you had told me during my undergrad that I would have to do medical school and have six hip surgeries during this time, and do the entirety of my clinical rotations having constant pain, I would have laughed at you thinking that it would not be possible.  But it IS possible.

"But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible."  Matthew 19:26

So alas, I press on through school and life with so many different things for which to be thankful.  I could ramble on and on about how this and that hurts and how much things suck.  And yes, things suck sometimes, not gonna lie.  But I have to try and look at the bright side of things too: I am finishing up my school for something that I have always dreamed of doing, I am getting many interviews for my upcoming residency next year, I have found an amazing field of medicine in which I will be very happy practicing the rest of my professional life, I have an amazing family, and amazing friends (especially those certain hip gals who have texted me thousands of times....I'll forever cherish the shared experiences and conversations we have and will have in the future), and I have God who helps me through absolutely everything!!!