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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Regardless of What Happens...

I am almost fully convinced that a surgery in my near future. Yes, another surgery on my hip that refuses the behave. Honestly, all I have done all day was sit on my butt and study for my test tomorrow morning and I have a throbbing hip (which is manifested as a lovely groin pain). I found that sitting upright causes more pain than lying down, so I do most of my studying lying down.

I am now having more anxiety about my appointment on Monday; for what the arthrogram will show. It is hard to imagine that I am going to be a doctor in two years and I have this horrible fear of going to the doctor. I am afraid that this surgeon is going to say that I have to have a PAO or something of that nature. I mean, at this point, I know I would go through with it because I can't keep living like this. The quality of life is just not there. I can't bend over, sit for too long, stand for too long, walk for too long. I can't get to sleep without taking a muscle relaxant that will make me drowsy half the nights of the week. It is no way to live. That is for sure.

So, the waiting game continues until Monday. Until then, I get to try and forget about my appointment and consume myself with school which includes: board studying, otolarynology, dermatology, pathology. Oh the fun!!!

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