Both Sides?

I must get this out.... 'what the heck?'  Both hips are misbehaving at the moment.  Normally my most recently operated hip is more sore than the other, but man alive, I can't decide which one hurts more at the moment.  Not a good sign.  I already know I don't have a labrum on the right side from a previous surgery and I hope and pray that it'll settle down soon and that it is just compensation.  But, deep down, I think I know what is in store for that side as well.

Don't you just hate the fact that you really know inside what is in store, but just prefer to not think about it as a way to deal with the uncertainty and emotions?  I think I know what is in store for my hips, and it sucks.  I've made it so far in school, only one year until I'm a doctor, and now I have to deal with this.  My surgeon hasn't said anything for certain, but I think I know.  I hope I am wrong though.  Miracles happen, right?  With such uncertainty looming, it makes things sometimes difficult to handle.  Especially since I've been dealing with hip pain for 6 years and 4 surgeries later and I am struggling now more than ever.  

I am sitting (more like lying in bed) studying.  I look down at my hips and think: what a journey I have been through so far.  I've learned so many things and seem to be required to keep learning; especially learning patience.  I'm so lucky to have the support of family, hip chicks, and most of all my surgeon.  I'll hold him to his promise that he'll fix me.  No matter how much or how long it takes, I will get my life back.  The hope of this keeps me going and helps me get through painful days like this.