This Hip Deal Keeps Getting Uglier & Uglier

Good grief, I am officially sick to my stomach with nerves and wonder how the heck I am going to make it work financially.  Yesterday I got an email from The Steadman Clinic stating that my insurance company will not provide a pre-authorization or pre-determination for my surgery and because of this the Clinic will be needing $10,000 down payment the day prior to surgery to help pay for the surgeon's fees.  And IF the insurance company decides to pay all of the surgery will I get some of it back, but there is a distinct possibility that the insurance company won't pay for it and I will lose the $10K and will be required to pay the additional $28K to pay all of the fees out of pocket.  I for sure do not have access to this amount of money for the down payment, and absolutely cannot afford to pay the entire thing.  My parents will be putting the money for the down payment on their credit card, but they don't have the money either and I feel absolutely horrible to have to have them fork out the money.  They pinch pennies to begin with, never going on vacation or anything, and now all of this....I am very, very, very worried.  I have raised nearly $2000 on my website, but this is not nearly enough for what I am currently facing to pay.

Today marks 19 days until I have surgery on my right hip and the 81st day since my left hip surgery.  I wish that my right hip wasn't as bad as it is because then I could forgo surgery for a couple of years (~3 years) and then get it when I was working and probably under a different insurance company.  But, this is not the case and we will deal with it.  Everything is all in place:  flights, car, condo.  I even have two sets of new SCDs and a right hip brace (thanks to a fellow Dr. Philippon patient) and I kept my CPM pads from last time.  All of this in hopes of saving some money.  And given all of this, even the slightest thought of having this surgery fail is painful.  So, I don't let the thought cross my mind very often.  I don't have the best track record with successful surgeries so it is definitely buried in the back of my mind.

I also have a pre-op appointment with my primary care doctor this morning.  I'll have to have a surgical clearance physical (so silly since I had just had a full medical in May and nothing has changed since my last surgery).  Plus labs:  PT, PTT, CRP, ESR, CBC w/ diff, UA.  All the fun stuff.  I am thankful that my family doctor could fit me in since he was booked solid for the next three weeks.  So that is where I am off to in a few minutes.

Last week I had a friend come from out of town.  It was nice to have company and just chill and relax and hang out.  We did get to go to Niagara Falls, and it was her first time there, so it was really exciting to see her reaction to the falls.  We went on Maid of the Mist and had a blast.  It was so incredible that it gave me goosebumps.  She left yesterday and had to get back on with life.  It was great to have company since I am usually at home all alone the majority of the day.