My Heart Sank

I am having a heck of a time sleeping these days. Seriously, you would think that being on oxycodone would just wipe you out and induce deep sleep. But no! I believe that I have developed a bit of tolerance since now I don't sleep whilst on the pills; I simply lie in a half-conscious state for about five hours...not really sleeping, but not really awake. This is not a good way to spend every night from midnight until 5AM! At least I am able to sleep in in the mornings so I am not too crabby during the day.

Anywho, last night whilst waiting for the pills to make me 'relaxed' I was trying to figure out where my pain was the worst, and I noticed that it was in my groin area. Now, I initially didn't think anything of it, until I remembered that right after my first surgery (the right side) I didn't have any groin pain whatsoever. All pre-op pain was gone and it was just the surgical pain that was remaining. And for my first scope on my left side I didn't get any groin pain relief and it failed to heal!

So now that I have groin pain, it really makes me wonder how much relief I am really going to get from this surgery. The success of the surgery really depends on what portion of the labrum is causing me grief and this issue has been eating away at the back of my mind since the surgery. I am focusing on being positive and am doing everything I am supposed to post-op in order for this surgery to help. But my heart sank just a little to realize that I still have groin pain. I tried to tell myself that perhaps it is the 2 anchors he managed to get in that were causing the groin pain, and maybe that is the truth, but it is hard to suppress the fact that I may need reconstructive surgery. The thought of yet another hip surgery makes my stomach tighten as I have no idea how I would fit it into my school schedule being that I have used up my vacation/medical leave from school for the next two years. I suppose I'll deal with that if further surgery is needed. I don't want to be borrowing trouble or stress but it is just so darn hard to not be disappointed that there is a real possibility that all of the surgeries to date on my left hip may fail. Gulp. I will know more at my 6 week follow-up with my surgeon.

On a happier note though, my best friend is bringing fast food over for lunch today and we are going to watch chick flicks all day :)