Gulp

So I spoke with one of Dr. P's fellows the other day and he said that having a graft from my IT made into a new labrum is my only option at this point. So, I definitely need surgery. He also said that the longer I wait to get the surgery the greater chances of developing arthritis and the greater chance I'd need microfracture (although needing microfracture is a definite possibility at the moment since it appears that some cartilage was removed in prior surgeries).

I am now debating on whether I should take time off from school and get my hip all fixed up. I seriously don't know how I could do 13-14 hour days on my feet at the moment. I can barely get thru 8 hour days. :( I think that I might just schedule surgery for as soon as I can and then see how my school can accommodate me. There is no need to struggle through life.

When I talk to anybody about this everybody tells me that I should get my hip fixed and then school will work out. If I have to take a year off it may be the best thing that could happen to me. In theory it sounds good but to actually go ahead and do it, and when it is happening to you, it is a major decision.

I kinda had a meltdown on Friday/Saturday about the whole deal. I even cried at PT yesterday. I just don't know what to do and what to think. I am so good at not complaining about my hip and when somebody says that you need surgery sooner rather than later and it really doesn't fit into life how the heck am I supposed to react?

I hope my school can accommodate me and perhaps give me a month of some sort of journal reviewing or research. But I haven't ever heard of anybody doing it before. I know that I can't be a doctor if I can't be on my feet. The thing that worries me is that I'll be in so much pain during a busy rotation that I'll be miserable and hate it when, if I had a decent hip, I would love it and want to do that particular type of medicine for the rest of my career. It really scares me. And I don't know how things are going to shake down.

At the moment, I am trying to gather all of my PT notes on my left hip, organize a steroid injection to submit to the doctor's office so that they can send it into my insurance company to get approval for the surgery. Why do things have to happen so quickly? I think that I always knew that I'd need surgery and figured I might not be able to do my rotations, but it doesn't make this situation any easier at the moment.