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Wednesday, February 8, 2012

34 Days Post-Op

I am 34 days post-op, not that I am counting or anything! hehehe.

I am really learning a lot about myself during this recovery. The greatest thing that I have learned is patience. I have been dealing with hip pain since 2006 and, although I've been through many surgeries, this time around is much different. I need to patiently await for my hip to heal on its own schedule; not mine. I had several procedures done during the 6.5 hour operation, I need to allow my body time to heal from the insult, even if it means remaining on crutches for a more lengthy period of time. Even if it means crutching around the hospital once I return to school. Even if it means hours and hours of physiotherapy. Even if it means not going out with friends. Patience in all of these facets of life will, hopefully, provide me with some success in reducing my pain.

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.
Carl Jung

Trust. I have, well, to be more accurate, I am trying at the moment to trust. Lately I have been battling trust. I need to trust my surgeon and the team helping me through this last surgery. I frequently find myself doubting the success of the surgery. Even at this early stages. In sane? It might sound as if I am paranoid. Here's the thing though, I have been through three previous surgeries with all of them leading to less than ideal results. I trusted these surgeons, and I didn't have success. Now, I am supposed to trust this surgeon? Not so easy. I keep telling myself that he is one of the best in the field, but it is still difficult for me to truly believe that success is highly likely.

If we really want to be full and generous in spirit, we have no choice but to trust at some level. -Rita Dove

Support. I have always loved my family from the bottom of my heart, but going through this has really brought out the steadfast love we have in my immediate family. Both my brothers and my parents have been absolutely amazing. Helping me in every way possible. Supporting me, encouraging me. It is incredible. God has given me a great support network. In addition, my fellow hip chicks have been great too. In fact, I have got more texts asking how I was after my surgery from these fellow hipsters than from my closest (non-hip) friends. It is incredible the love that is felt and the connection made between people who understand what it is like to do this. For everybody who texted, messaged, or even read this blog once, thank you!

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"
- Movie Quote from 'Rocky Balboa'

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